Commitment issues? Why many have it!

Many people have commitment issues for several different reasons. It can be due to negative experiences and beliefs and both sexes can suffer from commitment phobia.   What is commitment?  Commitment is a promise which two people make to each other explicitly – verbally or implied – by action. You commit to only dating each other and not seeing other people in a romantic way. You are committed to care for each other and to support each other. When you and your partner are committed to each other, there would be no uncertainty in your relationship. Together you commit to growing together as a couple, and walking the path of life together, hopefully leading to marriage if that’s what you both desire. Realistically the only way to have a healthy relationship is for both partners to be equally committed. There’s nothing better than feeling the companionship, friendship, sharing, and love that a secure and loving relationship can bring.

Now there may be times in a relationship where there is chemistry and good communication but there is a FEAR of commitment for one person. If you are in a relationship now and you know that there is a problem with hanging onto a relationship where there are evident signs of commitment phobia, let them go now before you waste too much time. Remember you can’t force or change anyone to commit to you unless they simply want to.

 Here are some reasons why people have commitment issues:

1. Someone may fear that being with just one person for a prolong period of time they may get bored or lose interest.

2.They have been hurt in the past before and don’t want to give another a chance.

3. Single people value their freedom, especially for those who have been single for such a long time, a committed relationship threatens that freedom.

4. Some are afraid that they will give their all and get nothing in return. When you fully give yourself to someone, you’re taking on the possibility that your partner may let you down. I have personally experienced this before in the past.

5. Many are just not ready for it, there’s nothing wrong with not being ready for a commitment to someone.

 Here is what you can do if yourself or partner has commitment issues:

1. Keep the communication effectively open with the understanding that you don’t want a commitment so the other person knows, and they aren’t mislead in any way.

2. You have to be honest with what you want and expect (realistically) out of your relationship. If you don’t know, don’t get in a relationship until you figure that out.

3.Learn to trust yourself and your intuition, allow your past experience and wisdom guide you in the right way.

4.Take time to truly learn the person before giving your all, learn from your past mistakes, don’t rush and don’t be desperate.

If you know 100% head on you don’t want to make a commitment in a relationship and your and the person your dating wants a commitment, please be sure not to get in a relationship so you don’t end up hurting the other person, that would not be fair to them. Learn to date with integrity and respect for yourself and for them. Life is a learning experience, what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger. Be wise and be smart. 

If you find this beneficial and know someone who can use it for themselves, please share it with them.  Sharing is caring! 

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 Love Always, 

Tiffany Lael